Scootamom
by Richardson
Summary: Scootaloo really wishes her mom would be a little less... regal, and more normal. Yeah, right. Kind of hard to do when your mother works all day in the Royal Court. Besides, being a normal old boring pegasus with a mom as crazy as hers just, well, sucks. Who can live up to the standard set up when their mother is Princess Celestia?
1. Family

Up upon a balcony high above the sleepy streets, a small orange filly looks up at the stars, at the shadowy formation upon the moon and wonders. She's not scared exactly, even though she knows what it represents. Who it represents. And, more importantly, that it would be gone before the next time the moon rose upon Equestria. It'll all be alright. Her mom had it all handled well in hoof.

She reaches a little orange-coated hoof up for a moment, wondering if maybe... maybe some small part of the Mare in the Moon is reaching back to her. She wants to know who she really is, to know her as a pony and not just as a myth or second hoof tale from her mother. Maybe if she could just give her a hug, if nothing else. Just some small token towards her. Maybe-

"Oh, look. I seem to have found a fallen angel. A pity, I was hoping for some fun. I guess I'll just have to get it by tickling her belly!" The sound of the young little filly's mother laughter fills the air as she pounces upon her daughter from above, the pink- and orange-coated pegasus deftly rubbing her hooves against the filly lying on her back. Little squeals of ticklish delight reward her efforts as the pegasus lying on the wood decking curls up to save her ticklish little underside from the fiendish attack.

"No! Eeik! Moo-oo-oom!" The words are hard for her to get out between peals of laughter, little hooves waving madly in midair from her efforts.

"Mo-Oo-Oom? What a strange name to be calling out. Oh, does my little filly mean 'mom'?" The orange mare redoubles her efforts, grinning madly as the little filly squeals with laughter even harder, laughing at their antics herself as she leans in for the kill. Her hooves swoop in under the little filly, scooping her high into the air as the mare lets herself drop onto her back, lowering the filly to lie atop her chest.

In the darkness of the summer night, the two lie there, enjoying their precious time together as mother and daughter. Sure, they didn't get nearly as much time together as they wanted, but they had their moments and nothing was going to take them away.

"Summer Sun Festival tomorrow, Mom..."

"I know. I'll be leaving in an hour or so. I need to be there, at Canterlot, when she is freed." The mare looks wistfully up at the black horsehead, and the stars now visibly drawing closer to the moon, wings sprawled widely against the cool wood.

"But I don't want you to go. She'll... she'll..."

"I know. But I have to. She needs the chance. I'll be back, my little filly. With the morning light and the rising 's already set." The mare nuzzles her daughter between the ears, listening to the indignant giggle from her target. Everything is as close to plan as possible, with one wondrous deviation.

The little filly wriggles out of her mother's hooves at last, rolling to her own for a moment before she hugs her mother around the neck. "I know. But I don't want you to go. She'll banish you to the sun!"

"Oh, and what is that going to do to me, give me a sunburn?" The mare chuckled at her humor, running a hoof down her daughter's back soothingly. She pulls herself free of her daughter's grasp, rolling to her own hooves gingerly. It was time; the stars were moving quicker than she anticipated. "I think a little pony needs to go to bed if she wants to hit up the party in the morning before it's crashed. Can't have you running around silly. Just listen to Big Macintosh and Ms. Sparkle; they'll keep you safe when everything happens."

The filly nods as she walks with her mother back inside to her room. Small posters of the stars and moon, ones overlooking Canterlot as the Wonderbolts flew overhead decorated the walls, a small plushy of the princess protectively perched over her small and cozy bed. The filly jumps up onto her bed, circling about as she tries to calm down for the morning activities, at last slipping under her covers as her mother watches.

"Good night, Scootaloo."

"Would you tell me the story, one last time before you go, Mom?" The little filly's plea pauses the mare in her tracks for a moment. The little pegasus snuggled a little deeper into her covers as her mother turned around to give her a sad and tired look.

"The one everypony else hears, or the real version?"

The little filly answers without hesitation, knowing which version she wants to hear. "The truth, Mom."

The older mare walks back, leaning against her child's bed as she sat down, hoof gently tussling her filly's mane one last time. "Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, two wonderful princesses and their loyal court magician ruled the land with benevolent care. The elder managed the sun, giving time for all their little ponies to work and build their land into something wonderful; the younger was the mare of the moon and night skies, who managed the time of rest and dreams of a better day. For so long, the three of them guided the land in a glorious golden age never before seen, and only barely seen since. But, it was not to last."

The older mare blinks away a tear at what comes next, her voice choking in her throat for a moment. "For the younger cared about the court mage with all her heart, with all her soul, with all her mind. And he was mortal. As the years passed, so did his youth, and eventually his life began to come to a close. Desperate, the younger princess turned to the elder, looking for something, anything to save him. But he had anticipated her, and asked that nothing would be allowed to interfere in his natural passing of time."

The little filly winces, squeezing deeper under the covers at the painful look upon her mother's face. The older mare stumbles over her words, thinking of the painful events that came afterwords. "The younger was furious, terrified and inconsolable as she watched him pass from the realm of the living. She blamed the elder for his passing, and withdrew from contact with her. The mare of the night grew cold and distant, throwing herself into her work and shunning so many who wished to know her."

The old mare blinks back painful tears, knowing she has to hurry before her appointed time comes. Her voice breaks and cracks with the long-smoldering memories, of the pain and suffering that still echoed through time. "One day, after many years, she came to the elder mare, her heart darkened by a cold loneliness. With nopony actively working under her night, and without her favored friend keeping her company, she had become bitter and confused. She demanded that their faithful subjects be forced to work under her blessed night, by reducing or eliminating the day. When she was told of the horrible effects such an action would have, she grew enraged and out of control. The elder did everything she could, not realizing how deeply the younger had been corrupted, desperately protecting her people as the two of them fought. She did everything she could to snap the younger out of the corrupting darkness that had swallowed her up, until..."

Scootaloo picks up where her mother left off, reaching over and hugging her around the neck comfortingly. She speaks quietly, knowing she shouldn't have asked, but knowing the story needed its conclusion. "But you couldn't, and eventually had no choice but to turn the Elements of Harmony against her, banishing her to her beloved moon for a thousand years in the hopes that a group of ponies with a strong enough friendship would emerge, able to wield the Elements to restore her to her former self and to bring Luna back to you. You'll get her back, Mom. They'll do it."

"I know they'll stop her, my little filly. I don't know if I'll get her back, though. You deserve a better pony than me as your mother." The elder mare sniffles for a moment, looking up to see the stars drawing rapidly closer to the moon.

"No, I don't. You're the best mom I could have gotten. Sure, you made mistakes, but... you did the best you could. And I'm getting all mamby-pamby sentimental, aren't I?"

The elder mare chokes back a giggle, before deciding to screw it all, gently laughing with her wonderful voice, hugging her daughter one last time. "Oh, never change, my silly little filly. I need to get going now; go to sleep, and don't worry."

"Never do, Mom. I'd probably... dunno, have a heart attack or something if I did. Or heartburn, Pinkie says you get heartburn from worrying too much."

The gentle laughter returns as the elder mare walks towards the balcony once more. "Oh, she's entirely right on that count. Good night, my little filly."

"Night, Mom."

With a slight golden glow, the solid oak door is pulled shut, leaving Scootaloo's room bathed in the faint glow of her sunburst nightlight. The far more brilliant flash of golden light seeps that seeps through the edges of the doorframe comfort the little filly for a moment, her mother's light soothing for her as she tucks in under her covers and drifts off to a gentle sleep. It'll be morning soon enough, her mother will be back then safe and sound, and an ancient mistake at last corrected. Besides, it wasn't like her mom was going to walk in the door sunburnt and smoldering, after all?

* * *

The cold and frigid wind of the continuing night squeezed through whatever tiny drafts it could, tickling the feathers upon Scootaloo's form. All she could think about was if her mother was suffering on the sun, if the night was ever going to end. She'd pulled the covers up over her head, trying to blank out the thoughts of just how scary Nightmare Moon had been, of the contempt she had shown for the mortal ponies of the land. Unhinged was one thing; what she had demonstrated had been... her mind blanked out, unable to come up with a proper term for it. Unnatural was as good a word as any. With the night still going, all she wanted to do was just curl up and-

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

The little filly squeaked in surprise at the knocking on her balcony door, curling up even tighter under her covers at the heavy thuds of a hoof upon her sturdy door. Her shivering frame flinched at the sound of the latch within the door being manipulated and opened with a metallic click, afraid to look and find out. Everything was supposed to have been all right, supposed to have been fine... she was going to be there when the-

Thump.

"Let it be known, for all time, that my brilliant plan to redeem Princess Luna was not as well thought out as I thought it was." Her mother's voice was music to Scootaloo's ears as the little filly burst from under her covers to glomp the elder mare with all her strength. For her part, her mother fell over onto her side wearily, drained from her disturbingly easy escape as her mane smoldered with the leftover heat of the sun slowly escaping her.

"Mom! But..." Scootaloo looked out the door as her mother gently kicked it shut with a weak buck, looking at the dark and clear skies beyond. Confusion reigned in her head, as she looked from the bare moon to her mother, who looked like she'd been through the nine rings of Tartarus after breakfast. She'd said that she'd be back when the dawn came, so why was she here now?

"Luna's really gotten rusty after a millennium of being locked up. It was actually rather embarrassingly easy to escape the sun. Not that it didn't hurt." The elder mare groaned as she wiggled each leg painfully in turn, testing to see if she had forgotten anything other than part of her celestial power on her heavenly body. Gentle wisps of smoke rose from where the power of her domain had touched her uncontrollably and left her looking like an innocent bystander in Twilight's lab after twelve hours of study.

"I wouldn't know... pegasus and all that." Scootaloo leaned over the side of her bed, licking a hoof before jamming it firmly onto a smoldering patch about to catch fire once more. The smoking lock of mane found itself mashed between a head and a wet place, hissing as the drool coating the underside of the hoof put it out.

The elder mare was tempted to look cross-eyedly at the hoof, feeling the blessed coolness soaking through her fur. "I know, I know. They should almost be there by now; it won't be too long." The old mare wanted to just vegetate for a few weeks, relax and enjoy herself. How long had it been since she'd had a vacation, an actual proper 'don't even go to work'-style vacation? She couldn't even remember. A pity she was about to have to go back.

"Yeah, she is kinda scary-focused. It's like obsessing over a task is fun for her or something." Scootaloo flopped along the side of her bed, leaning over lazily and upside down to look her mother in the eyes. For her troubles, she found her nose being beeped by one of the creamy orange hooves of her mother, who lazily had rolled over onto her side.

"Yes, that would describe Twilight exactly. And it's why I chose her for this. What better mare for the task than somepony that would obsess over anything, even friendship. What could possibly go wrong?" The elder mare laughed lightly at the thought, even as a tingle of magic touched the edge of her senses. As she sat up, the rapidly descending moon could be seen on the horizon, lowering from the skies as its owner found herself on the wrong end of the Elements of Harmony.

"I'll see you in a bit, my little filly. I think I just got called back to work." And with that, the old mare dashed out the door, leaving little Scootaloo alone once more with an intriguing and worrying thought.

"Did Mom REALLY just ask what could possibly go wrong with friendship?"

* * *

"We must once more apologize for locking thee away in the sun. We were not at all thinking properly." Luna walked alongside Celestia down the majestic halls of the Canterlot castle, absently gazing out the windows at the sprawling metropolis Canterlot had become. Other than the castle, she hadn't recognized anything at all.

Celestia's laugh surprised the younger alicorn, the elder mare letting out her mirth in the relative privacy of the royal suite complex. "Oh, Luna. You have nothing at all to apologize for. I was already out long before you were freed from the nightmare that haunted you. And I could not accept an apology of that kind when I've made similarly rash decisions of my own of late."

The night diarch raised an eyebrow in thought, stepping forward once more to continue the journey to her quarters. "Pray, tell. What manner of rash decision would make thee think our own treachery be but a footnote in comparison?"

Celestia shook her head and smiled enigmatically, raising a hoof to rest against the ornate double doors entering into Luna's quarters. "In private. It's rather sensitive and not for the court to know." Celestia reached forth with her power, unlatching the door quickly and sweeping the younger diarch inside with her, shutting the door as fast as it had opened.

"Is this a cruel joke upon thy part?"

"What do you- oh. Oh for-" Celestia massaged her muzzle with a weary hoof, realizing she had forgotten something terribly important as she looked upon Scootaloo's 'improvements' upon the room. She'd forgotten to have the little filly return it to its original state after nearly 1000 years of disuse. She completely understood exactly why Luna so indignantly had begun to grumble, wondering just how foalish she had to look herself. "Well, this is technically part of what I had to tell you. My apologies, she was supposed to clean up last week."

Luna gave her a scathing look as she touched the woolen comforter on 'her' bed, idly tracing the outline of the strange yellow arrowhead with her hoof. "She?"

The elder diarch slowly trotted over to the younger, looking about conspiratorially for several moments before she leaned into Luna's ear and whispered several true things. Each drew the younger princess's eyes wider and wider in shock from the revelation that Celestia would, well...

Especially in that place! _DRUNK, NO LESS_!

"_SURELY, THOU JESTETH WITH US_!?"

Celestia smiled, sitting down to remain stable for the laugh building in her. "Oh yes, I'm afraid so, Luna. I would dare say that beats your locking me in the sun on the scale of bad ideas fairly easily." The tears of barely suppressed laughter welled up in the corners of her eyes as she ignored the paling Luna, the strange cosmic irony still catching her by surprise.

"Didst thou think this would be _AMUSING_to us? Thou treatest her almost as a surrogate for our own affections! If anything, thine actions are worse than an intentional slight!" Luna fluffed out, spreading her wings wide instinctively at even the suggestion that she might have been replaced in Celestia's eyes by some mere whelp of not even a decade.

"What? No! She could never replace you! I couldn't just cast her aside, not if I was going to give you a second chance. And then, some bright spark flared in her soul, the same fire that drove you in your youth. It's some cruel cosmic joke against me, that somepony who is destined to live and die a short life reminds me so much of who you could have been, that she cares so much about your work, about you..." Celestia found herself horrified as she realized what her words had implied, reaching out to hug the younger diarch and calm her down. Instead, she had to watch as the dark alicorn retreated back, ruffling the thick rug on the floor with her movement.

Crestfallen, she drew back as she realized she'd hurt Luna once more, shuffling backwards towards the door. "Luna, I would like you to meet her. Ever since I told her of her heritage, of your tale, she's wanted to know you, to comfort you. I don't know why, but she's always loved the stars you hung in the night so long ago. Give her a chance, Luna."

Luna turned her head, pacing to the desk, still littered with bits and pieces from the last time Scootaloo had come over. A photo of the little orange filly and what was obviously Celestia dressed and disguised as a pegasus mare, and another one of the little one and the moon, the faint image of Luna's prison still visible in the photo. With a painful sigh, she turned that one down. She could see why Celestia had latched onto the filly; even if she found the answers painful, all around were signs of the energy of youth, innocence and strength of will together in spades.

"Alright. We shall give her a chance when the time comes. If she is what you claim, then we shall be satisfied."

"That's all I ever ask. I will be down in Ponyville for a bit, Luna. If you need me, you can find me there as... 'Sunbeam'. Though you really should rest." Celestia began to cast the spells of her other life as she spoke, the change rippling over her like gentle waves in a pond or the heat over a road. White gave way to orange, the gentle fading colors of a sunset burning to a bright and firey pink as the solar diarch assumed her other identity once more.

Luna began to protest, wanting to say something. Instead, as she opened her mouth the thunderous tones of a Royal Canterlot enhanced yawn emerged to rattle the castle, the exhausted lunar diarch at last drooping over, dropping where she stood to fall upon her old bed. As her legs instinctively kicked and tangled the sheets around her, Celestia smiled, stepping out with a bright golden teleport, for home. After all, there was still a chance for everypony to be happy, and a family again.

* * *

Thop!

Luna blearily blinked, half asleep from the exhaustion of so heavily working herself after having escaped a thousand years of her energy being drained into her beloved moon.

Thop! Thop! Thop! Thop!

All she could mentally ask herself was '_What in Tirek's black bones is making that infernal racket?_' Her legs feebly twitched in the tangle of covers and comforters she had assembled to envelop her form, unable to move much. She reached with what little magic hadn't deserted her, yanking another layer over her head to drown out the-

Thop! Thop!

The lunar diarch poked her head back out, looking to smite whatever foal was creating the noises that stole her blessed sleep from her. To her unease, nothing, not even a floating pegasus could be seen. The aggravatingly cheerful decorations looked back at her, as if mocking her bleary and confused mind. Where was the intr-

Thopthop!

Confound that pony! Luna groaned and rubbed her scalp delicately, the noise driving her slowly towards finding a good chunk of moon to throw at the whole room. She wished nothing more than to scream in frustration at the irritation, miserably digging deeper into her tangled mess until a misshapen lump in the covers was the only sign she still existed.

Thop!Thop!THOPTHOPTHOPTHOP!

Luna began to scream in frustration, until the bed shook with a loud, creaking THUMP! as something fell from the ceiling, the pitter-patter beat of small hooves shaking her as her attacker rushed her hideaway. The lunar diarch began to call up any magics she still could wield in her weakened state, prepared for-

The hooves digging into the blankets were to be expected. The feeling of them glomping tight around her, hard enough that she feared the hug around her neck was about to turn into a chokehold, was not as small tears dripped into her fur from a nuzzling face. The flickering glow of her magic fizzled out altogether, as she looked as best she could down at her young 'attacker' who was, to her surprise Celestia's mortal foal.

The little orange filly trembled against her for a moment before looking up into the lunar diarch's eyes. "Luna, you are still _LOVED_. Don't you forget that." The little filly clung tighter to the blue form of the mare of the night, sniffling slightly. "Don't you ever forget that."

Luna was at a loss for words. She hadn't expected, well... the little filly to seek her out so quickly. Let alone seek her out currying her favor with such a strange message. It was almost as if she was genuinely sincere. "Thy mother would be pleased, little one. But this will not change our opinion. We are not about to suddenly like thee simply because thy mother sent thee to plead thy own case."

"Mom didn't send me, Luna. Well, she told me about how you felt. I can't replace you for her. That was never was she meant."

"Really?" Luna slowly untangled herself from her bedding, wondering how much force it would take to remove the filly from her royal personage.

"Really really. You know how cool your sky is? _VERY COOL_! I've loved looking up at it! Mom's only been able to kinda-sorta duplicate what you did with it ever since you, uh, had your incident. I've been wanting to meet you for so long!" To Luna's relief, Scootaloo bounded off of her to bounce in place excitedly. She was bursting with energy with every bound, giving the lunar diarch a frightful headache from keeping track of her.

"So, thou doth not desire anything more from our royal personage?" Luna narrowed her eyes as she finally freed a forehoof, almost free of her messy bed-spread.

"Other than to be a friend? Why would I? You're my family! You're family that's been hurting for so long that almost everypony's forgotten why you were hurting." Scootaloo stopped her manic movements for a moment, looking to see if she could get away with hugging Luna again.

"And what wouldst thou know of our pain?"

"Mom told me. I... think I'm the last one alive other than you and Mom that knows the real story instead of the one she spread to clear your image." Scootaloo drew closer to Luna, the lunar diarch creeping backwards upon the bed for a moment. The little orange and purple filly almost glowed in the dim light of Luna's quarters, wings abuzz from her feelings good and bad.

Luna scowled as she at last freed herself, standing up atop the mess she had made of the bed to look down upon the young daughter of Celestia. "Then thou realizes that we fell for want of a mortal. Thou seekest to replace _HIM_! And that we cannot ab-gak!" Luna's proclamation was cut off mid-sentence as she found herself tightly hugged once more, the mass of Scootaloo nearly knocking her over.

"No, I don't. I want to be _ME_! Not anypony else. I know about him; I know what his death did. And I want to be with my family; I want to be with my mom, with the part of our family that got cut out! I don't want to be alone." Scootaloo's return argument slowly broke down into sniffles as she went along, tears streaking Luna's leg once more as the lunar diarch realized the little filly was being entirely serious.

She knew the pain of loneliness. Of despair and heartbreak, sitting alone in a quiet room with a piece of her heart cut out. It was a risk, to open back up again to some pony she barely knew as anything other than Celestia's foal. But she couldn't deny somepony whose cry so closely echoed her own. Family, somepony to trust and be with. To have somepony she could be herself with, no matter what mask the world wanted to paint her with, who just wanted to love her with no strings attached and no favors to wring.

Was that so hard to ask, even for a broken soul such as her own?

Luna gently lowered her head to rest against Scootaloo's, nuzzling her with every ounce of her heart and will she could muster as she spoke. "Then, thou wilt be loved, as thou so lovest ourself. Scootaloo Morningstar, daughter of Celestia Morningstar, we apologize for our arrogant presumption and for our slights to thyself. If family is what thy heart desires, with nothing more, how can we say no?"

The little filly sniffled once more, looking up into Luna's eyes with hope. Hope that maybe she'd get to know Luna like she'd always wanted to, hope that the poor mare might finally get the peace of mind she wanted, to remember how much she had been loved all along. "Really?"

The young diarch reached down, gently wiping a tear from Scootaloo's eyes. "Yes." The slight pain from the filly tightening her hug to bone-crushing force was worth it. It was so hard, being alone. And the mare of the moon was sick and tired of being alone when she had her family right beside her.

It was then that she looked up. "Are those... suction cups upon our ceiling?"


	2. Folly

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOP!

The guardspony turned about, eying the ceiling carefully. The little nemesis foal had been brought to the Castle once more, and already the sounds of her annoying gravity-defying walks were echoing through the halls.

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOP!

She might have fallen off on Blueblood's face last time, but not this time. Neither cloud, nor rain, nor lunar rebellion, yea not even a rain of foals would prevent him from securing the Castle. Nothing got past Commander Eaglehoof, no matter how sneaky that blasted foal became. His eyes turned to the guard posting at the end of the hall, the grey-coated unicorns nervously looking towards him.

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOP!

He couldn't help but think the infernal racket was coming from two directions as he trotted up to the guardsponies, gruffly looking each in the eyes. The two straightened up to attention, one saluting him as the guard commander pointedly looked. "Guardsmen, have either of you seen Scootaloo? Her antics are disturbing the princess!"

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOP!

The two nervously passed a look between each other, knowing the commander wasn't going to like what they had to say. Finally, the one on the right spoke up, looking about as he spoke. "Sir, Sunbeam's foal headed for her room an hour ago. However, she never came back out before the sounds started up again." The guardspony on the left glared at his partner on the right, nudging him with his shoulder.

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOP!

All three of the guardsponies looked up once more, looking about for the source of the suction cup noise. Vigilant in their every movement, knowing that at any point the dreaded foal could come crashing down and force their less noble duty of being the royal foal-catchers to come into play. The commander shifted uneasily as he waited for the hooves to drop. "You realize, Private, that the foal's room used to be Luna's royal apartment, correct?"

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOP!

"Princess Celestia is going to kill us."

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOP!

The commander glared at both of them angrily, jabbing his hoof towards the door to the royal wing. "Hunt her down, get her OUT! Nothing is to disturb the new Princess's rest!" He could just imagine the royal banishment ceremony already, the little foal at the front of the line, then her mother, then HIM! Not while he still drew breath would it happen!

Thop! Thop! THOPTHOPTHOPTHOP!

"Where is that little foal? We have her this time, she can't be far!" The guard commander all but bowled over the two enlisted ponies before him to jump at the source of the sound, growling angrily as his look beyond the doors turned up nothing. The sound had grown obnoxiously loud, and the new Princess Luna was bound to turn up at any moment and demand the incompetent in charge of the guard detail, namely HIM.

"Uh, sir..."

"Don't sir me, get moving! Bring me Scootaloo!" Eaglehoof stomped a hoof against the carpet, ignoring the dull thumps of two jumping ponies.

"I'm right here, Commander EaglePoof. What'd I do this time?" Scootaloo slurped at the straw of her drink hat, looking up at the ceiling expectantly as she stood behind the frazzled guards. Eaglehoof twirled about, staring at her for a moment, most noticeably her lack of suction cup hoof sleeves and the fact that she came from the kitchens, not the royal suites. He knew his eyes had to be twitching as the filly began to try and go around him to the royal suite. "I need to finish unpacking, would'ya move?"

"No! You're going right back to your mother, delinquent! Your rule of terror over this poor castle has reached it's end! Princess Luna will not be disturbed, you will be assigned to new quarters later today!" Eaglehoof ignored the splutters from the guards behind him as he reached towards Scootaloo. The little filly easily dodged his grab, dancing to once side without spilling either of the drink containers she was carrying, both the one still mounted on her head and the one she balanced on her back.

"What's that supposed to mean? I don't even know what deliquncish is supposed to be!" The pegasus filly duck and wove once more, hopping up onto one of the guardspony's back. A quick hoofpress slid her liquid-filled hat back into place from where it had slid down, letting her look into Eaglehoof's face once more.

"It'll be what you'll be now that you won't be able to hide behind your mother and the princess anymore! Princess Luna will not tolerate your antics, now get down!" The tawny coated guard captain swooped his hoof out with the speed and grace of his namesake animal, missing Scootaloo by mere fractions of an inch as the filly jumped back. His growl of frustration was matched by the yelp of guard Scootaloo had been standing upon as he dove out of the way. Scootaloo toppled over in a heap from her momentum, the sticky feeling of malt chocolate spreading through her fur as she rolled to her feet.

"Eeeww. Now how am I supposed to deliver a triple mocha chocolate malt to Princess Luna? I just got that!" Scootaloo pressed a hoof to her darkly stained chest, inwardly groaning at how nasty she felt. In her distraction the little filly failed to notice Eaglehoof pouncing her way, his several hundred pounds of bulk rapidly pinning her to the ground in the spreading puddle of cold drink and ice cream.

Growling, Eaglehoof picked her up from the growing stain in the carpet, glaring at her eye to eye as the little filly dripped with gooeyness. Scootaloo didn't flinch from his gaze, calmly taking a single slurp from the straw still sticking from the containers in her hat. "You will not be doing anything near Princess Luna. She will be provided the respect due her position, and you will be escorted back to the children's wing, understood?"

Thop!

The two junior guardsponies jumped in their armor, twirling about in search of where the noise had come from. Scootaloo leaned in closer to Eaglehoof, her tail flicking instinctively as a small rivulet of liquid chocolate ran down it. "You should probably get that." A wry and knowing smile slowly spread across her face as she looked up, seeing the pony above her.

The guardsponies all followed her gaze to the ornate ceiling, and the unicorn mare there gleefully giving rational physics the bent hoof salute. The dark blue mare grinned down at the awkward group, her moonlight blue mane hanging down from her like a fine moss from a tree branch. "Is there a problem, guards?" She began to step away, the amusing and obnoxious 'Thop!' of the suction cups on her hooves echoing in the still hallway as she did.

Eaglehoof dropped Scootaloo in surprise, the filly bouncing lightly on her rump for a moment before she started running, realizing who the sweatervested 'unicorn' really was. It might have been wrong of her, but payback was a dish best served royally. And Eaglehoof? Eaglehoof was known in the guard and amongst the general populace as a jerk, a blowhard, and an overall poor commander who only got the job because his 'old blood' family put him up. Siccing her new favorite 'big sister' on him was the best thing to happen between the two of them in the three years they had known each other.

Torn between his old nemesis and his new challenger, Eaglehoof hesitated for several crucial moments indecisively trying to determine his target. Finally, his hoof stomped against the luxurious carpet, angrily pointing towards Scootaloo's trail of dripped chocolate and glaring at the junior guards whom she had run past. "Catch her! I'll deal with the new one!"

With that, he spread his tawny wings, launching into the air after the rapidly retreating form of the deep blue 'unicorn'. The two junior guardsponies, clad in the standard cosmetic enchantment, looked at each other with worry. The crazy little filly was nuts in the good and the bad way. They nodded to each other and briskly trotted after the little orange filly into the royal quarters.

"Scootaloo, we need to talk. You and Commander Eaglehoof have got to stop baiting each other before something happens." The slightly larger stallion of the pair carefully peeked his head around the corner into the back of the royal apartment complex in search of the little filly, his hoof motioning to his junior partner for him to check in the other direction.

"What do you want now, Tenderhoof? I didn't do anything to him this time." Scootaloo sat in the baths, wiping off most of the nastiest portions of the formerly delicious muck from her form.

"It's Lieutenant Tenderhoof, kid. I know it's not your fault and I can't blame you for being mad at him, but you're giving him more fuel to go after you with." The strong city twang of the guardspony was comforting for her as he scruffed the thick towel into her sides to help out.

"Yeah, thank you. I know, I know. He doesn't know how to stop and I've gotta do what a filly's got to do. It's not like mom can do anything to him." Scootaloo squirmed under the scruffing being inflicted upon her as she spoke, indignant from the attention. She was all too familiar with the speech and the reasons the commander couldn't be removed from the palace guard.

"Good. Now then, go get yourself another shake if it's for the princess. I'll cover for you." Tenderhoof picked up Scoot's drink-encrusted hat as he affectionately spoke, squishing it down upon her head with a brief pat. The little filly rocked back and forth under the pat, hooves clattering slightly on the marble tiles of the magnificent bath.

"Oof! Really?"

The somewhat veteran guardsman smiled, crouching down to look Scootaloo in the eye, squinting to see her face past the glare of one of the sunbeams that always seemed to follow her around. "Yup. Your mom Sunbeam owes me one after I caught her snacking on the Princess's cake. I figure her having to explain to Princess Luna why her daughter tried to feed her a chocolate shake is payback enough. Now get. Unlike 'Commander Eaglepoof', I actually paid attention to the photos we received from Ponyville this morning, and I know she's about to beat you to the kitchen even if she has to run upside down with suction cups on her hooves." He paused for a moment, towel hanging over the gold filigree laundry bin as he realized what had just come out of his mouth.

Scootaloo giggled in her little way, knowing how crazy it had to sound. "Yeah, I get that a lot. See ya later, Tenderhoof!" The clatter of still sticky hooves rushed away past the guardspony, who sat there in thought of how in the bucking blazes did a filly convince a full grown princess to stick suction cups on her hooves and climb up a wall.

* * *

'Sunbeam' was busy doing her best not to fall asleep in the stupefyingly mundane and trivial business of the court, busily projecting a more attentive looking illusion of her real self on the throne. After 1000 years of practice with not falling asleep in court, it was disturbingly easy to wing her way through it most days even half-asleep. Blueblood needing something for his house, denied. The annual call for a draft from the pegusi contingent, she didn't have a clue why they thought they needed more ponies at the moment. The guard commander flying screaming through the halls on the far side of the courtyard in the windows chasin-.

"Sunbeam, would you mind seeing what has Commander Eaglehoof worked up today?" 'Celestia' smiled warmly down at her, the orange mare enjoying the odd recursiveness of giving herself orders. Nodding back to the illusion of her real self on the throne, and glad for giving herself an excuse to take a short stroll; she made her way down the center aisle of the court to the front doors of the royal chambers, gingerly opening them with a single hoof to-

ThopthopthopthopthopTHOPTHOP **THOPTHOPTHOPTHOP**THOPTHOPthopthopthopthopthop thop!

She found herself falling solidly onto her rump in shock as Luna ran past in a sweatervest. On the ceiling and floating a chocolate shake before herself in a dark blue field of magic. Some things you just couldn't make up, it seemed. The faint clippy-clop of a foal's hooves grew in the distance, her daughter Scootaloo skidding around the column holding up one side of the hallway junction. Hooves still weren't good for running on polished marble as the little filly found out, having trouble building momentum at first until she at last zipped by her mother. 'Sunbeam' grimaced at the sight of the little filly coated in some form of dark brown stain and wondered what her daughter had gotten into and why she was busily chasing after Luna (on the ceiling!).

"I'm not entirely cer-" 'Sunbeam' began to speak, turning her head back into the court as the little filly squeaked and slid around the other corner; at least until the rustling of a great many wings filled the air. Shock etched itself onto her face as 30 guardsponies followed Commander Eaglehoof screaming around the corner in formation, darkening the halls with their shadows as they stormed past at high velocity. The orange mare stoically glared as they rushed past, her mane twirling into a twisted mess from the wind of their passage. She'd faced down Discord, the Nightmare of the Moon, the Dark Reaper Tirek, even the Demons of Air and Shadow. She would not get angry, not get angry, she was not going to-

"SCOOTALOO! What did you do!?"

* * *

"So, which one of you two would care to claim responsibility for riling up the palace guard?" 'Sunbeam' slid the thick paneled door to Luna's room shut with a gentle push from one of her hindhooves as she gently inquired the guilty looking pair. The fizzle of anti-surveillance spells reestablishing themselves crackled behind her as she strode up, fixing princess and filly in turn.

Scootaloo bowed her head in shame as her mother sat down on one of the floor cushions, guiltily avoiding her mother's gaze. Her hoof restlessly scuffed at the thick blue carpet as she cleared her throat as she wondered how much trouble she would get into for dealing with Eaglehoof, again. The chocolate stains were still sticky and all over her back from the shake she had spilled, though they hadn't gotten into her wings.

'Sunbeam' looked towards her young daughter more intensely, noticing her sticky and distressed state. With any chance of being stumbled upon gone, the orange mare began to strip her cover away enchantment by enchantment, her true alicorn form emerging once more. The quiet air of Luna's apartment whispered in the faint breeze of the change, pushing away as Celestia decompressed herself and sprung back to her normal size, glowing with the faint traces of her light. Scootaloo sighed, opening her mouth to admit she had pushed the guard commander's buttons once more.

"As the exalt and bearer of Loyalty and Honesty, we shall not let thy filly take responsibility for our actions. It twas our practicing using her ideas that first agitated thy guards. Scootaloo's actions were in her own defense, and thy wrath should be directed towards our own person." Luna reached a hoof over as she spoke, gently pressing the pegasus filly's mouth shut once more. She leaned back, grimly sitting before the solar diarch in wait of what she had to say.

Celestia, for her part did her best to keep the incredulous look off her face. After all, before her sat Luna; who barely six hours before had said she found the room given back to her to be childish and mocking and its occupant an affront to her. And now? The lunar diarch was defending her, comfortably in the very room she had taken offense in. Her mind sorted through the possibilities slowly as she considered what might have just happened to immediately change the relationship for the positive. "Luna, I'm not going to be that tough on her. Why would-"

"Because we have already said it. We are, nay, were the bearer of Loyalty, and Honesty. We say these things because they are true. We had naught an indication beforehoof that thy guards would be so, excitable." The lunar diarch stood her ground before her counterpart, knowing what she had to say. She'd heard the 'responsibilities' speech before, and it was not about to bug her again.

"Really, Luna?"

"All I did was come up to the front doors with a chocolate shake for Luna. Then he went all 'rawr! Bad Filly! No shake for princesses!'" Scootaloo reared up as she spoke, imitating the angry tones of the guard commander as she did. Her mother gave her only the slightest hint of an incredulous look; more than a thousand years of leadership had given her far stranger examples to gawk at.

"That doesn't explain how you managed to become a friend to her in less than three hours, and succeeded in getting half the castle guard chasing the both of you through the castle and then Canterlot itself. Luna, you said you didn't want anything to do with her." Celestia wanted to massage the growing headache from her mind as she tried to piece together how two plus two became 42 somewhere along the lines.

"Well, I might maybe might have snuck up on her from above and given her the 1000 years of hugs she's been missing. But that would be all sappy and sickeningly cute. And I'm not cute." Scootaloo gave her mother the roughest and toughest look she could; her cool foal reputation was on the line. Her drink hat shook as she did, her hoof reaching up once more to seat it properly.

"Oh, I don't know about that, you look adorable and absolutely messy to me. You almost look like the time Luna got covered in alfalfa sauce, ac-" Celestia lit the ornate lamps around the roof of the room as she spoke, getting a better look at the sticky filly. She jumped slightly as Luna grabbed Scootaloo with her magic and broke out the normally disused royal speaking voice.

"Tis a lie! We never-" Luna stopped as the golden aura of a magical bubble appeared about her muzzle to quiet her down, sourly looking at Celestia.

"Indoors and in private, Luna. And amongst family." Celestia released her hold, letting Luna speak once as the golden glow faded away to the muted flickering lighting of the wall lamps.

"Tis a lie! We never sought out the vile alfalfa sauce! Thy foal has shown great martial prowess and joyous eloquence in the pursuit of giving us hope once more. Even knowing of our foalish ignorant pain, she came to us. We were gravely wrong and have already apologized to her for our slight. And, she became our guide." Luna quietly made her proclamation once more, a muted clap of thunder punctuating her small speech. "We like her, she's trouble." A predatory smile graced Luna's face as she ground a hoof into the plush carpet.

"Really?" Celestia's eyebrow raised cautiously, the horrifying realization that the two of them had joined forces working its way through her mind.

Scootaloo hopped up and down in annoyance, wings buzzing slightly in her agitation. "I am not! I only wanted to cheer her up, since I've gotta stay with her." The little filly's voice was indignant at the suggestion, Scootaloo's seat softly fluffing with each hop.

"Thou hast fooled us well, then." Luna carefully levitated in a bowl of familiar green gloop from the balcony outside, keeping it under Celestia's line of sight as she did. A small, slight glance to Scootaloo confirmed her own plan. The lunar diarch understood deception far too well; especially the art of hiding in plain sight. "Well, then this brings us back to the point of Commander Eaglehoof. Why hast thou not replaced him already?"

Celestia narrowed her eyes for a moment at Luna, suspecting the younger alicorn had something on her mind. "He's one of the old families. I've tried before, but after signing several agreements to prevent civil war when you had your indiscretion I am afraid I cannot simply fire him." Celestia looked to the wall of legal documents, one of the few concessions to the fact that this had been Luna's room at one point. She couldn't remember where, but the original copy of the treaty between herself and Eaglehoof's bloodline was stashed somewhere within.

"Tell me about it. Why can't we get, I dunno, Shining Armor or Tenderhoof to take over?" Scootaloo scrubbed at the sticky mess on her chest once more, glad that her rump was dry. Taking a shower with a pillow stuck to her butt would be awkward.

Luna looked at Celestia gleefully, thinking of the punishments of old. She couldn't imagine what 'firing' somepony meant, but it had to be good if Celestia considered it a worthy punishment for such a loathsome creature as Eaglehoof. "Tell us, what does this 'firing' consist of? We hath no recollection of such an intriguing sounding punishment. Tying him to a spit roast until his fur is crispy? Forcing him to drown two whole bottles of the purest rainbows and shaking him well? Perhaps tying him to the sling of a trebuchet and launching him from the castle?"

Luna settled down from where she was nearly levitating at the thought of showing the proper consequences of unfairly disturbing a foal when she noticed the shocked and horrified looks on the faces of her family. Her mass slumped back to the soft starry cushion as she realized she wasn't going to have the enjoyment of making a royal example out of Eaglehoof for disrespecting her and her family. "And, judging from thy looks, 'firing' hath nothing to do with such amusing pastimes even if we were allowed to have them."

"Why is my whole family crazy?" Scootaloo carefully edged away from Luna for a moment, putting some space between her and the still medieval minded lunar diarch. "Mom, you should have mentioned the fact that Luna liked doing... things to everypony."

Luna grinned as Celestia began rubbing her face in frustration with the strange direction the conversation was headed. "Yes, I should have. Luna, firing means to dismiss him from the job with immediate termination. Well, I suppose I could start rigging up the trebuchet for removing peg- oh no, Luna. No. I'm not playing this game." Celestia gave the younger diarch the most pointed stare she could conjure up, the faint rattle of something nearly upending behind the dark blue mare barely noticed behind the choked squeak she gave.

"Moooom! You're doing your scary face again!"

Celestia eased up immediately as she realized she had unleashed the glare of kindness, her counterpart giving an annoyed look in return as she tried her best to straighten her now unruly and disheveled mane. "Tia, after all this time thou still hast the power?" Luna slid her surprise a little closer to Scootaloo as she tried to distract her elder counterpart once more.

"Yes, we still have the blessings of the Elements, Luna. Now we're- now what?" Celestia turned her head to look out the windows, in the direction her daughter and fellow princess were staring, wondering what they had suddenly found more fascinating than their discussion. Beyond the fading sunset and the stars emerging from the night skies once more in the most brilliant night in 1000 years, she couldn't tell. A sudden rustle and rattling of ceramic on marble and carpet surprised her as she did, the elder alicorn turning back to see a horrific sight that had replaced Luna and her daughter.

Two voices rose up at once as their bearers leaned in towards her, a viscous green mask upon both their faces as eldritch voices spoke. "Bleagh-bleagh-bleagh! Alfalfa Monster!"

"Ew! Noo-OooooO!" Celestia reared back in shock from the close encounter, rising to her hooves before lurching as the inconveniently placed footlocker at the base of the room's bed arrested her rearwards movement. With the rest of her still moving backwards, Celestia yelped in surprise as she tumbled backwards, sprawling out into an awkward and shocked daze upon the bed. Small twitches of her hooves showed that she was still alive as the rest of her family approached in worry and surprise over how well their prank worked.

"Wow. You're right, she does just fall right over. When she snaps out of this, you know she's going to kill us both, right?" Scootaloo carefully nibbled some of the alfalfa off of her face, wiping much of the rest of it back into the bowl that Luna had proffered. The little filly approached her mother, leaning over the side of the bed to poke her once in her trim belly for a moment to see if she would snap out of her shocked stiffness.

"Nay. Perhaps maim us, but not kill. She hast always been too sweet-hearted as the former bearer of kindness and friendship. But we feel that sometimes revenge is a dish best served cold. Very, very cold." Luna gave a mischievous smile as she looked over Celestia's shocked form, nibbling on a bit of alfalfa she had licked into her mouth. A mind that had long ago been sharped into a razor point rapidly considered ways that she and her accomplice in crime could finish the rather horribly cruel and lighthearted vengeance upon their mutual family relations without turning the affair into a grudge match of ever more expansive pranks. "Now then, pray tell us, doth the castle carry a pink fur dye within it's cosmetic supplies?"

If she could have looked, Celestia might have shivered slightly at the wide grin upon her daughter's face.

* * *

The morning court started as any other would, petitioners slowly filing in past the gathered nobility and assorted high ranking figures of Equestria beneath the gaze of the rising sun shining through the windows. Concerned whispers murmured through the crowd at the sight of the oddly... pink sun that was rising in the east, the morning light tainted by it's color. Ponies whispered in confusion, wondering if the sun had been pink before the banishment of the mysterious Princess Luna, or if some strange illness had befallen their beloved Princess Celestia. Either way, all conversation ceased as the diarch of the day was announced by the triumphant fanfare of a hundred horns, the crowd parting for the mighty and majest-

The whispers returned tenfold as Celestia walked down the red-carpeted aisle with as much majesty as she could given her unusual condition. When she had come to that night, Luna had informed her of the punishment for so many year's worth of pranks and jokes and assorted slights that she was going to be bearing for the next week. And, since the castle was most unhelpfully lacking in stocks of certain colors of fur dye, the lunar princess had seen fit to add a distinctly personal touch to the punishment and had directly applied a cosmetic spell to the solar diarch. One that only turned an ever brighter shade of pink with each attempt to remove it, as Celestia had found to her perpetual annoyance. By morning she was almost glowing after a futile night of attempts on her part and that of her staff to remove the spell.

Luckily, she still had it in herself to bluff her way through the crisis at hand as well as plan her own revenge upon her family. She wasn't certain what that revenge would be, but it would have to be most exceedingly pointy and memorable. Celestia sat down upon her dias, the illusion of her alter ego running up from the court offices conjured up as a final touch to the preparations for the morning work. She bowed her head, the faint golden glow of her magic reaching forth to draw the remaining curtains upon the windows open, flooding the room with her light and warmth. "I hereby call this court to order. Petitioners, come forth and make thy grievances known."

"Your majesty, why are you _pink_?"

Celestia closed her eyes in annoyance at the question, a single thought running through her head. _'This is going to be a long, long week.'_ Her mortal illusion shook her head, facehoofing in expression of the annoyance Celestia wished she could fully unleash.


	3. Celestia Vs Knitting Part 1

Celestia sat at her desk, silently ignoring the two curtiously waiting behind her. The old mahogany creaked slightly as the still irritated demigoddess scribbled out the last of a great many diplomatic letters, a small pile of them already shove messily into a corner of the desk out of the way. At the top, a lone letter addressed to Twilight rested, awaiting delivery to explain to her faithful student why the sun had been pink all week. With one last flourish of her quill, she signed the letter and sealed it; the letter and all it's fellows found themselves picked up in Celestia's magic and sorted away into the ceiling-high warren of shelves for delivery as Celestia at last turned to her family.

"So, what have we learned?" Celestia furrowed her still pink-tinged brow as she stared the duo down. A week's worth of damage control, embarrassment and chaos found itself weighted against the sad and sorrowful looks that Luna and Scootaloo were desperately giving her.

"Pranks that the entire world notices are really bad and make Mom very very angry." Scootaloo piped up first, looking her mom in the eye as she spoke.

"We should take more care in the methodology of our pranks as there is a limit to just how much somepony is willing to take before they lash out and turn us green with purple and orange 'polka dots'." Luna, as the architect and instigator of the Great Pink Week, as it had come to be called, had suffered her just reward for her actions. With interest, as the dripping sugary mess her mane had become attested.

"We're sorry." The two spoke in unison, hoping to avoid further retaliation after a week of turning the palace into a warzone with the forgotten pranks of a millennium before.

"Very well. I hope my point has been made clear. I am still very unhappy about turning so pink that the sun and my mortal guise showed it; but perhaps we can avoid this unpleasantness in the future." Celestia tapped her horn to Luna's own, the golden flash of her counterspell returning the lunar alicorn to a presentable state. She was glad that it was all over after a week of having to keep away from her daughter for appearance's sake.

Even if bespelling the moon into the illusion of a giant pretzel for a few minutes in the heat of battle had been worth it for the priceless look on Luna's face; the havoc unleashed by two alicorns and their mortal family had drawn far too uncomfortably close to unleashing the garden guest.

"Now then, if everypony is back to normal, I'd like to talk for a moment." Scootaloo and Luna scooted closer on their cushions to find out what Celestia had to say.

She nuzzled both in turn as they did, each getting as much of her love as she could bring to bear in a few moments. The sun, ascendant in the skies cast it's light deep into the study as she did, warming the trio with the slight metaphysical touch of Celestia's guarded heart. The weekend, part of the time she had at last reclaimed for her own was at last upon them; and finally the group had a chance to breathe and think in the quiet morning light.

"Luna, I know this should all be about you, and your return home. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, especially not this week. I've let things get more than a little out of hand since you left. More importantly, I've let them take what little time I can spend with the most fleeting part of our family." Celestia spoke quietly, the regrets of a thousand years finding themselves forcefully purged with each soft word. Thoughts of could have, should haves, would haves ran through her mind at the edges of her consciousness; teasing her each and every moment.

"Nay, Tia. It should be as every other week should, a celebration of all that we hath in each other's strengths." Luna rebutted her elder counterpart's words, preferring a different approach. Scootaloo nudged her after she spoke, the filly pointedly staring at the wood tiling afterwards so that Luna would get on with it.

"Oh. Yes. We know that we will not always have thee, our any of the rest of our family. But, there is a way we all could remember one another's love for each other no matter how far apart our journeys take us on our separate paths." Luna gently smiled and rubbed Scootaloo' head until it crackled with static electricity from her mane. Scootaloo just smooshed her face into her seat and giggled at the tickle from the static grounding out into the floor.

"Really... Let me guess, Scootaloo came up with the idea, and she suggested a present exchange." Celestia arced an eyebrow as her daughter gave her the best little angel impression she could imagine.

"Well, you do know me kinda well, Mom. But not just presents, but the best presents ever! The kind of awesomely cool stuff that'll stick around to the end of... uh, everything!" Scootaloo popped up with glee, one hoof punching the air as she spoke.

"Right. And Hearth's Warming Eve comes next week." Celestia turned to Luna for help with her wayward child, only to find a sly grin on the blue alicorn's face.

"It does? Why doth nopony tell us these things?"

Scootaloo leaned against her partner in crime while giving her mother a mischievous look. "Well, duh! It's some kind of... responsible adult, uh, thing! Trying to hog all the fun to themselves and stuff."

"A pity, we were looking forward to testing our creative mettle against forging a present worthy of Tia for her dedication towards saving us from our moon." Luna pouted, standing up and pacing as if in protest. The lunar diarch carefully waited as she slowly prowled about the room, waiting for Celestia's inevitable reaction.

Celestia still had every bit of work that Luna had ever forged. The lunar diarch had a brutally brilliant way with metal, and the very magic of her night had often seeped into her work."Let's not be so hasty. You mean-"

Scootaloo shuddered as she remembered some of her more memorable school projects. "Yeah! She'll make something for you and me, I'll hunt down the best and coolest presents ever since I can't make anything without it catching on fire or getting covered in goo, and you could-"

"Knit, perhaps?"

"Luna, I do construction, and shrubberies. I have never, and will never knit." Celestia stamped a hoof, ignoring the rattle of the desk behind her and the bookshelves around the room's perimeter.

"Aww, c'mon Mom. It'd make us really happy if you did. And it'd make Luna feel appreciated." Scootaloo pleaded with her mother as Luna impassively stared out over the palace grounds and the Canterlot skyline.

"Alright, I'll consider it." Celestia felt the rumble of the cheer building behind her as she waited for the perfect moment to counterstrike. "But don't expect anything too good. I'm afraid I won't have too much to offer."

Celestia stood up, and headed for her room and the millennium old cask of fine ale hidden within, wondering how many glasses it would take to nurse away the growing headache developing behind the base of her horn.

"It can't be nearly as hard as flipping gravity in a single room." Scootaloo scrubbed a hoof against her pillow as she spoke, looking at Luna and waiting for the golden moment.

Luna met her gaze before turning towards the bedroom door. "Nay, a proper knit is a far worthier task than merely toying with the forces of nature." 5, 4...

Celestia paused suspiciously at the doorway, the wording of Luna's rebuttle worrying her. She didn't notice the pair behind her exchanging concerned looks behind her back as she finally reached out with her magic and opened the doors. A series of horrified realizations passed through her mind in the split seconds that followed.

The first was that she knew exactly which room they had reversed gravity within as she found herself halfway into the altered gravity field. The second was that the duo of disaster behind her had somehow doubled the strength of gravity within her room. The third was accompanied by a startled yelp as she found herself rapidly ascending towards her ceiling.

Wa-THUMP!

"SCOOTALOO! LUNA!"

"All is fair in love and pranks, Tia."

"Last one, Mom, we promise."

* * *

"She stared at it, a vile abomination from the darkest markets of Canterlot. Shapeless, and yet round it defied her understanding of geometry. Its surface was marked with the twisting twirls of individual strands wrapped within each other without a known beginning or end, an affront to her senses. The amorphous object rested unheeding of the baleful gaze weighted against its form, an uncaring truth within the universe. She beheld it, taking in the colors intertwined within the endless maze, grotesquely fading from one to another. Why it even-"

"Mom. Stop playing with the yarn. You sound silly narrating like that."

"The mare recoiled from the object, hunching down below the plain of existence it rested upon until only her magnificent horn could emerge from the dark depths. Once more, she slowly rose forth in careful consideration to rest her gaze upon its fearsome form. Study revealed no means to manipulate the object, no manner in which to unravel its secrets. Knowledge of its dark wonders remained hidden from her, beckoning her to touch it, to try and unravel it without being consumed and ensnared by its convulted and endless depths."

"Mom, you're over 1000 years old. Stop talking about it like its something out of Marecraft's... stuff."

"Clearly, the voice was calling forth from within the object's depths, some former victim forever ensnared within. She would have to be cautious. The hypnotically twisted surface beckoned to her, enticing her with the promise of knowledge. Its dread call distorted her mind, drawing her closer to the thing from another world. Points began to appear, as if materializing from its depths as strange wooden rods parted the surface."

"Mom, if you don't knock it off, I'm going to stick that thing on your horn."

"She recoiled back at the horrid noise, her ears burning with the discordant notes of the unknowable thing. The brave and valiant mare struggled to regain her senses after the punishing horror, knowing that she had to master the material or be cursed to miserable, dismal failure."

Scootaloo groaned, dropping the book on Canterlot she had been studying as she decided to carry through with her threat. While her mother muttered and peered intently at the impressively sized ball of tye-dye yarn, the little filly snuck around behind the table it sat on, grumbling all the way as she did._Normal fillies don't have this problem. Normal fillies don't have moms who went stir-CRAzy 1000 years ago and became unable to do anything the normal way anymore. Then again, normal fillies don't have the coolest mom in the country._ Scootaloo hopped up off of a reclined chair as she finished her train of thought, clip-clopping lightly across the wooden table to where her mother had become entranced by the way the colors of the yarn ball twirled around. Giving the elder mare no time, she picked it up, impaling the innocent yarn on the white alicorn's horn with a violent press of her hooves.

"Aaauuuuuaaagh! Save yourself Scootaloo! The yarn is attacking!" Celestia jolted back from the sudden assault of color in her vision, flailing her hooves trying to get it off. Scootaloo fell to her side, clutching her chest as she burst out laughing at the ludicrous sight of her mom under 'attack' by her project to be. Desperately trying to remove it, Celestia began to try and push it off her horn, discovering to her horror that she had only managed to begin unraveling it as the arcane knot caught her forehooves within the tangled mass. "It's all over me, get it off!"

"Mom, you are crazy. Cra-ZY!" Scootaloo giggled as her mother struggled to entangle herself. Waiting for a moment, Scootaloo jumped into the mess and tackled Celestia playfully, digging into the rapidly entangling mess. Grinning, Celestia wrapped her yarn-covered hooves around the little pegasus, stringing her up into the mess with swift deftness.

"Arg! Scootaloo, no! It's got you too! What is this?" Celestia struggled as she tussled Scootaloo's mane with her magic, soon finding that she had manged to bind herself and her foal tightly together in a web of inadvertently knitted yarn. "Scootaloo?"

Purple eyes glared halfheartedly at her for a few moments, softening up at her mother's smirk. "This is all your fault, Mom. At least nopony can walk into your study and find us like this. I don't want to explain how you fell to the evil charms of Yarnthulu or something."

"Mmm. Yarnthulu..."

Scootaloo reached out with her remaining free hoof, nudging a loop around Celestia's regal muzzle and tugging it until the solar diarch couldn't speak. "Mom, maybe you shouldn't talk anymore. You're freaky when you get distracted. Maybe you should go talk to Twilight. She knows everything." At her foal's words, Celestia's eyes widened and she leaned forward, kissing Scootaloo between her eyes. "Mom wait, don't-"

The solar princess lit her magic, glowing blindingly with the warm golden glow of the sun; the field of her teleport spell tingling the pegasus's orange legs for just a moment. And then, she was gone in a brilliant flash and Scootaloo found herself hovering in midair amongst a twisted web of yarn. "Awww."

A heavy thump marked Scootaloo's landing, and she groaned as the twisted and entwining mess landed atop her and buried her up to her neck in yarn. A brief struggle only tangled her more thoroughly until the little orange filly couldn't move at all. "Mom? Mom, left me here, by myself. And Luna won't be back until midnight. And nopony can get in."

"I hate my life."

* * *

Luna scowled as she stalked the lower halls, looking for landmarks long since erased by the passage of time. When Canterlot had been founded, a mere hundred years before her fall, she had commissioned a mighty and magnificent forge in the depths of the castle; perhaps the finest ever constructed. Built to amplify the power of her moon and draw it into her works, it had been the armory of her lunar guards. And now, other than the chimney and magic center she could find not even the slightest trace of it's existence.

Not a scrap of information in the archives for 200 years, not a sign of its doors where it clearly had to be. She was ready to rip the mountain from its foundations if she could stoke the great fire there even one more time. Now if only there was somepony she could scream her frustration out at, she might-

"M'am, the dungeons aren't exactly fit for everypony. Mind if I suggest that you head upstairs?" The white guardspony tapped Luna on her rump with an oddly familiar magic pulse.

Spreading her wings regally for the full dramatic effect and summoning the ethereal light of her moon; Luna stood tall and turned around to face him. The wind of her gathering her presence kicking up a small dust storm in the unused corridor and nearly knocked the helmet off his head as his eyes grew wide at the realization of how massive his accidental breach of protocol had been. A moment's movement saw him prostrate on the floor, horntip scraping against the carved basalt.

"Ah. Excellent, somepony who remembers the old ways. Praytell, what is thy name, and were might we find what our sister hath done with our forge?" The rumble of Luna's voice shook the corridor, echoing for what seemed like forever in the dark and empty passageways.

"Shining Armor, m'am. Head of the unicorn guard."

"Thou seems familiar to us, despite our long departure. Hmm, no matter. Once more, we beseech thee, where might we find what our sister hath done with our forge?" Luna toned down her voice in the realization that a dust storm wasn't particularly regal, settling back to her hooves just before Shining Armor. That he was a unicorn with her sister's colors instead of those of her own guard intrigued her. It almost made her want to bend down and sniff his mal- err, magic.

"The Forge of Protheus the Mad? Her majesty Princess Celestia had it walled over after he set the defensive spells to kill everypony just before he died." The distinctive unicorn raised his head to look at Luna, who cupped his chin with a hoof to look him in the eyes. Darkness stared into light, the gaze of the moon sending a chill into the air as she almost bored through his soul and past it into the black rock flooring.

"We would ask if thou jests, but we see that thou telleth the truth." Luna narrowed her eyes as she stepped away and turned to the dimly lit stone walls, her magic sweeping away the cobwebs and dust. There was one solution to the immovable object.

Unresistable force. "Very well. Bring us a hammer."

* * *

"Twilight."

Twilight dreamed, fitful almost feverish visions induced by Pinkie Pie experiments haunting her sleep.

"Twilight. Twilight."

The lilac-coated unicorn rolled over in her snug bed, twitching her covers tighter around her as frightful dreams took shape. The warm summer night had penetrated the defenses of her hapless new home and was slowly driving her mad in the humid heat.

"Twilight. Twilight. Twilight."

A terrible vision filled her sleep; one of a thousand small birds, each wearing her mentor's face and wearing Pinkie's mane. The flutter of wings filled the air from the cloud of abominations surrounding her on all sides.

"Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight."

And then the thousand voices spoke as one, the terrible flock pressing closer to her form in the shiftless void of existence she beheld beyond her terrors. Their fell voices chirped in her ears and the young unicorn flinched back from them in horror; their wings brushing at the nape of her neck and the marks on her flanks.

"Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, TWIIIII-LIIIIGHT!"

Twilight screamed as the creatures landed upon her and began pecking into her flesh; their cruel muzzles nipping away at her as they pressed into her belly, her legs, her ears. The smothering weight of their forms pressed down upon her in a frenzy of poking and nipping and squawking of her name as-

"TWILIGHT! I NEED YOU!"

"Auuaaagh!" Twilight flailed her limbs as her sudden jerk flipped her off of her bed and onto the hard floor. Spike's cries of surprise could barely be heard over the frantic rustle of feathers on fur and the thumps of hooves and a horn on the wood floor. Pegasus and unicorn grappled for top position, rolling across the floor in a frenzy of struggling to free each other until they found themselves tipping over into midair.

"Uhoh."

The thump of two bodies slamming onto the ground floor of the library rattled books from the shelves and Spike out of his basket. Twilight groaned in agony as a stray hoof brushed the nasty lump on the side of her head from hitting the floor twice over, entangled in the sheets she had formerly been so comfortingly ensconced within.

"Twilight. I need you."

"AuuuAARRGH!" Twilight jerked back once more at the sight of Princess Celestia's personal assistant Sunbeam standing so close that her lemony fresh breath tweaked Twilight's nose. The now thoroughly panicking unicorn scuttled backwards across the floor until she rammed herself into the far wall with a bone-jarring thud. "How did you get in here!?"

"Celestia's key. Do you know how to knit? Celestia needs to learn really quickly for Luna before she ends up creating Yarnthulu again."

"What."

Sunbeam held up the items in her saddlebag with a hoof, namely a mangled ball of yarn and two knitting picks. "Knitting. You know everything! Please don't tell me you don't know how to knit!"

Twilight reached out for the light switch as she heard Spike stumbling close to the top of the stairs, blinking in the sudden infusion of light into the room and the revelations it brought. The orange pegasus's mane had been transformed into a rats nest of yarn knotted around formerly graceful locks of hair and hung dreadfully around her face as she held up the bundle of items. Her soulful, pleading violet eyes seemed to etch themselves into Twilight's soul as she reached out with her hoof towards the mage of all trades.

"I don't know how to knit." Twilight held up her hooves defensively as Sunbeam began to protest, waving one wildly before her. "Nonono, I never studied it because I couldn't find a spell on it! I was majoring in general magic studies under Princess Celestia!"

Twilight winced as Spike at last tripped in his semi-slumber, tumbling bodily down the stairs and yelping on every step until at last he rolled to a stop in an ungainly heap by the front door. Twilight started to grab a notepad with her magic to make a self-memo to install padding at the foot of the stairs before Sunbeam shoved her implements into the telekinetic field.

"Does he know?!"

"What? No!"

"No what, Twilight?" Spike rubbed his eyes as he sleepily stumbled across the floor to the pair, blearily looking at the notepad Twilight carried for a moment. "Oh, why do you think I don't know how to take notes?"

"Not notes; knitting, Spike!" Twilight moved out in front of Sunbeam, trying to keep her from getting to her number one assistant.

Spike looked between them as Sunbeam beamed a hopeful smile in his direction and Twilight did her best to hover a large atlas in the way. Thoughts slowly bubbled to the surface as he tried to make sense of the strange situation. "Uh, maybe you should try Rarity?"

Sunbeam stopped her antics as muddled considerations ran through her head and a dozen expressions briefly graced her features. Twilight glared at Spike who shrugged in confusion back at her. Worry sprouted as he wondered how exactly Celestia's assistant had gotten into the library. "I said the wrong thing, didn't I?"

"Oh, no. You only gave Princess Celestia's creepy assistant who woke me up by whispering in my ear while standing on my bed the idea to bug all our friends all night long until she gets answers. What could possibly be wrong with that?" Twilight reflexively reached up and smoothed down a stray lock of her mane as she spoke. In her frustration, she missed Sunbeam sinking flat to the floor and backing away on her belly towards the door.

Spike missed it as well as he realized that Sunbeam would be heading for Rarity's place next."Oh no. You said it, not me. Why does Sunbeam need to know how to knit, anyway?"

"Something about Princess Celestia needing to knit a present for Princess Luna and not knowing how. And Yarnthulu, whatever that means." Twilight turned back to where Sunbeam had been as she spoke, a chill running through her blood as she realized the pegasus was gone. The creaking of the unoiled hinge for the libary's front door confirmed her suspicions and sent a pang of guilt into the pit of her stomach. "Well, now we'll never get back to sleep."

"How'd she get in, anyway?" Spike hopped onto Twilight's back as she wearily began to trot towards her door, hanging tightly around her neck from sleepiness.

"A key Cel- oh no. She might be able to get into our friend's houses as-" Twilight stopped talking as Rarity's ladylike scream echoed through the night and awoke ponies all across the village. Spike clung tighter as Twilight reared up, getting ready to run to the fashionata's house. "Hang on, she can! We've got to catch her if we want sleep tonight, Spike!"

Twilight's leaping start out of her door nearly threw Spike off her back; and the faint sounds of a pegasus being thrown out a window could be heard in the distance. The hunt for the yarny burglar was on.

* * *

Granite and basalt crumbled under the punishing hammer blow; the barely restrained fury of the goddess behind it punching a hole deep into the formerly solid stone. Behind Luna, Shining Armor bounced from fright and the shockwave that rattled the corridor. His hooffalls echoed skittishly in the long-abandoned corridor as he scooted farther away from the now furious princess of the night as her telekinetic field flared brighter; her massive sledgehammer swinging backwards until it bounced off the other corridor wall hard enough to leave an impressive dent. Luna's eyes narrowed once more with intense concentration, and her implement of destruction whistled through the air like the cracking tip of a whip, meeting the wall with terrifying force.

THOOM!

"Tis not enough that Tia failed to abolish the nobility after they drove us to madness." Luna strained for a moment as she angrily growled, ripping the sledgehammer from the powdering stone once more.

Thunk! Fwe-CRACK! THOOM!

"Tis not enough that she let us BE FORGOTTEN. Reduced to naught by some mere foal's fable!" The lunar goddess paid no heed to Shining's shaken form as she slowly wedged and levered the massive hammer from the deep hole. Stone crackled and groaned as it was pulverized by the grinding. Her temporary bodyguard backed away several more paces, wincing at the chips snapping from the wall into the air.

Thunk! Fwe-CRACK! THOOM!

"Nay, she had the audacity to let some lesser hooves disturb our forge, OUR INTIMATE HAVEN! And the interloper had the idiocy to change the triggers of our wards!" Luna strained to free her instrument of destruction from where it was nearly entirely buried in the former wall; her aura glowing nearly brighter than Celestia's sun as it ground her weapon free.

"Your majesty?"

A ragged cry broke from her lips as she began to flail at the wall, each hit a ringing crack that dented supposedly unbreakable steel and pulverized rock. Again and again she smashed the wall, her wordless anguish counterpointed by her relentless pounding as the full realization of just how much had changed finally hit her. In her state she didn't even notice the small cuts as granite chips were ejected from her bezerker fight with the wall. The soft noise of steel against magical barrier didn't reach her either; but the feel of its owner grabbing ahold of her and shouting something in her ears did, to the detriment of Shining Armor.

He found himself flung through the air by reflex as she lashed out once more. Undaunted, he picked himself out from the crater his shield had carved into the wall and once more launched himself at her hoping to calm her down. "Your majesty! Princess Luna, please stop! You're hurting yourself!"

Her thrashing at the impediment slowly ceased, her dark form trembling with mixed emotions as she struggled to hold back her tears. Finally, though, she at last sank to her belly, splaying her legs about as she pressed her face against the solid rock below. The realization at long last of just how much time she had missed, of her true friends long having turned to dust ages ago, of how so much of what she had made had been turned into myths at best; it all hit home in a train of misery and loneliness.

Shining's hoof slowly stroked at her shoulder as he laid beside her in the darkness. "It'll be alright, your majesty. We're not all bad nowadays. Your sister did purge the ranks after you, uh, left." Shining slipped his helmet off, lifting Luna's head with his magic and sliding it plumed-side up under her muzzle as a pillow.

"'We?'"

Shining winced at the faint dark trails of tears on his charge's cheeks as he continued. "The family has been nobility for a while. Got the title of an old abolished house for kicking an Ursa Major into an Ursa Mini four centuries back. Most of us don't bug your sister, just a few houses she can't touch."

Luna growled deep in her throat, but cut off with a wince as she felt how her aural stress relief had left her throat feeling tender. At the same time, though, she was confused. Never in her time had the nobility cooperated, nor comforted her or Celestia. Or acted selflessly in extreme danger. If it had not been for her sister's kind hoof and the need to rally the masses, they would have all been wiped out at her own will long before she had fallen.

And yet, here was one whispering reassurances into her ear. Luna raised her head for a moment to look at the damage inflicted by her anger, horrified by what a moment's lapse of control had inflicted. A strong white hoof slowly reached up and curled a forelock of hair from her face, before hugging her around her neck.

"Why?"

Shining channeled a bit of his magic into a specialized variant of his shield, gently pushing the multitude of tiny drying rivulets of blood from Luna. His voice had become quiet as he laid against her, knowing that she needed a friend. "Most of the nobility has tried to ease your sister's workload. After most of the real jerks got taken out under mysterious circumstances, the rest have been slowly trying to take the workload off your sister, your majesty."

"Why?" Luna plaintively looked towards him at last, as the adrenaline and initial despair leaked out of her system.

"Why- oh. Well, most of the kingdoms and principalities around fell in the thousand years you were gone. We learned from your sister, and if she ever left us, we'd all be in trouble." Shining slowly tried to break physical contact with Luna, only to find her wrapping a leg around him to keep him pinned in place.

"What happened? What changed?"

Shining winced, remembering how bored history class had left him. "I can't say for certain. I know that in the first hundred years you were gone a lot of bad things happened while your sister grieved. My lil' sis could tell you more, your majesty. Princess Celestia could get you in touch."

Luna laid her head back down at the knowledge of how much her absence had hurt the land, even indirectly. She wished she could take it all back, to go back to the horror she had started. And yet, if she could take it back, Scootaloo would never have been born. With somepony to lean on, Celesta would have never found happiness, never worked so hard to restore the land and make it one worth living in.

"Thy sister, what is her name?"

"You already know her, your majesty. She's the one who, uh, overdosed you on friendship to save you. Twilight Sparkle." Shining Armor perked up at the question, glad to see Luna at last rise up slightly at the name. Before he could react much more than that, the sudden tight hug around his neck began to dim his vision from a lack of air.

"Thank you, Commander. For proving us wrong, and for thy sister. We owe our life to her." Luna nuzzled him once behind the ear, and then released him as she rose to her trembling hooves. One thing left to do, it was time to start again.

"Uh, thanks, your majesty. But what now?"

"Stand back, Commander. We have another way. We suggest down by the stairs." Luna pointed down to the barely visible stairs to the surface, where a strange silvery glow could be seen. A similar glow began to seep though an otherwise unremarkable section of wall; revealing it to be some form of glowing liquid that began to coalesce around Luna's outstretched hoof.

"Your majesty?" Shining tentatively began to push an extension of his shield towards the mystic substance, feeling great power coming from it. The touch of Luna's magic surprised him as she drained away his spell and pushed him away with it.

"Nay, you foal! Do not touch it! It is the light of our moon condensed into liquid form. Your slightest touch would release untold amounts of energy instantly, killing thy foalish self without hope of salvation. Get to the stairs!" Luna's magic shoved him along as she continued to gather her concentrated moonshine to her, great streams trickling down the walls and dripping into a ball gathering at her hoof. She paid no attention to him making a break for it as she continued to gather her energy, beginning to slowly push it into the crater she had created.

Far down the corridor, the white unicorn loped towards the stairs, silently praying to Celestia that Luna wasn't about to get hurt. Heavy hooffalls behind him alerted him to her rapid approach just moments before she scooped him up in a telekinetic field and poured on more speed with her pegasi magic. The slight look of worry and panic on Luna's face frightened him just before she shoved his helmet down on his head and covered his eyes. Rough stone scraped against his belly as she yanked them both behind the curve of the spiraling stairs and pressed them against the curve of the floor.

What followed next could not be described as a sound, only the sensation of a great wind and terrifying pulses of energy washing over him from where they had been.

Shining held onto his charge with all of his magical and physical strength, praying that he wouldn't be ripped free in the onslaught of the magical detonation. The pressure shocks continued for several moments from rockfalls and air rushing back in a screaming wind, until at last it all died down into a slight breeze blowing in from the forge.

Dust choked the air, swirling in obscuring clouds of silicate powder. Luna's hooves roughly reached out of the dust, grabbing Shining's head and yanking him close to her own. Her aura lit up in a pinpoint light that shined roughly into each of his eyes in turn. Shining squirmed under the grip of the princess, breaking free at last to look Luna in the eyes.

"Hold still, Commander. We hath not finished inspecting thee for head injuries. We should not have been so impulsive in our actions." Luna released him as she concluded that he seemed well enough. Her voice had reverted to her original gruff tone as she tried to hide her concern.

"Well, so long as you use less of... whatever it is that was, I'll live, your majesty." Shining Armor blinked in the sudden change in ambient light; trying to identify the source of the mysterious glow which illuminated the dust still swirling.

"Moonlight. Liquefied moonshine. We concentrate it until it is dense enough to be liquid, then release it when we will." Luna hauled Shining Armor to his hooves as she spoke. It was an old trick that was a part of her talent pool that had fallen from favor. "We are unsure of the exact terminology to describe what we just did. How is instinctive, describing it is not."

"Right. But how does blinding me with a hornlight help?" Shining blinked his eyes in confusion, wondering where the stars had come from.

"Light makes the eyes react. If they react improperly, it means thy mind was damaged by the blast. Thou art fine, though." Luna tried to hide her concern as she looked down the corridor once more, seeing faint light from somewhere reflecting in the dark stone.

"I don't know about that. I'm seeing stars." Shining cut off any retort to that that Luna might have; his hoof reaching up and sliding a lock of her now ethereal mane blowing in a nonexistent breeze down into hr vision. The sight of her mane transformed into starfield crashed her mind in disbelief. Somehow, though, Shining wondered what the law said about letting the sovereigns blow stars into their manes.

* * *

"Fluttershy, Fluttershy... I need you."

"YiiiIIIEEEEEP!"

Sunbeam facehoofed as the shy pegasus that looked almost like her twin dove under the bed, letting only the tip of her tail show as she shivered in terror. An orange hoof gently pinned the trembling pink appendage, dragging the scared-stiff mare loose from her hiding place. A gentle hug from behind comforted the butter yellow pegasus. Fluttershy's trembling form calmed and ceased struggling against Sunbeam's grasp.

Gentle murmurs of comfort were whispered into the poor pegasus's ears for several moments, until at last she was released and sat down upon one of the room's many cushions. Sunbeam joined her after a moment, checking out the windows in the brief period before she sat down next to her excitable friend. Luckily, though, the lynch mob out to tie her up with her own yarn had yet to track her down.

"Sorry, Fluttershy. That was very rude of me." Sunbeam held her head low in shame as she sat across from the animal keeper of Ponyville.

Fluttershy shook her head in response Her voice grew cheerful as she spoke, her nerves calming from the thought of helping a friend. "Oh, no. My door is always open for my friends. What's wrong, Sunbeam?"

Rustling filled the air as Sunbeam rummaged through her disheveled saddlebags for the objects of interest. Fluttershy perked up, edging closer to her friend as she recognized the sight of a ball of yarn falling apart from the abuse it had sustained over the course of the night. Her hoof reached up, nudging the ball as if in sympathy for the troubles it had sustained.

Fluttershy 'ooooh'ed in the dim lighting, as she realized what Sunbeam was asking of her. The gentle pegasus got up and approached her companion, picking up the object of attention to get a closer look.

"Fluttershy, please help me. Celestia needs you." Sunbeam pleadingly looked to her, hoping she could help her. "I tried Twilight first, but she didn't know. So she sent me to Rarity, and she didn't know. So I snuck into Pinkie's place. You would figure she would know how for helping her parties, but she didn't know. So, she sent me to Rainbow Dash, who sent me to Applejack. Not even Granny Smith knew. Help me Fluttershy, you're my only hope."

The shy pegasus shook her head, not quite understanding what Sunbeam had said. "Oh no, I really couldn't help Princess Celestia make anything. I'm just a beginner, I'm not even very good." Apologetically, Fluttershy gave her unexpected guest the most innocent look that she could in exchange for her trouble.

Sunbeam jumped up in frustration from her latest failure. The pre-dawn light cast a menacing pattern of shadows across her form as she wracked her brain for something, anything to help her quest to help Luna. "C'mon, please? Celestia just wants to learn the basics so she can give something she made to Princess Luna! She'd do anything if you could help her."

Pink locks of hair swished in the still air as their host jerked back in pleasantly surprised thought. Ideas of all shapes and sizes passed through her head, her decision promptly reversing itself at the thought. "Oh. Well, I suppose I could maybe possibly show her something. That is if she really wants to learn."

Stiffness knew her once more as Sunbeam pounced her; knocking her to the floor in an ecstatic flurry of hugging and hoofkissing and slightly incoherent thank-yous. The poor abused ball of yarn rolled to the floor, unraveling as it rolled towards and down the stairs to the ground level. Neither noticed; Sunbeam because of her victory celebration, and Fluttershy was far busier worrying herself into a state of shock over the pegasus hugging her tight and whirling her about in a dance frenzy slightly above the floor.

Then the knock came from the door, silencing the mini-party, Sunbeam's eyes widening as she realized she was about to be caught. "I wasn't here!" Her harsh whisper grated in the suddenly silent cottage, gaining a meager nod from the still startled and dismayed pegasus.

"Saturday, nine in the morning alright with you?" Slow, gentle nods.

"Eeeeii! Princess Celestia 'll teleport you to her study. She's got loads of stuff there. Be ready, please. Gotta go!" Sunbeam dashed for the window, quietly unlatching it before flaring her wings and accelerating into the air with extreme haste from the sound of further knocking at the downstairs door.

After what seemed like an eternity, bright blue eyes suddenly leaned into Fluttershy's field of view, looking down at her where she laid upon her back. "Oh no! Fluttershy!"

"What, what happened Pinkie!?" Twilight could be heard as she reached Fluttershy's room, clip-clopping across the wooden floors to where the creamy pegasus laid. The faint sound of two more sets of hooves and a pair of wings gently flittering in the air followed the studious unicorn, though Fluttershy couldn't tell from where she remained.

"Look! The blank look in her eyes, the yarn in her hair, the blank look of the icky truth eating her soul! We're too late, Yarnthulu ate Flutterbrains!"

The sound of a hoof faintly impacting a muzzle could be heard as Applejack couldn't contain her exasperation any longer. "Sugarcube, it's too dang early in the morning fer this."

* * *

Sunbeam snuck into the royal study, eager to stretch out for the morning in seclusion. The bright sunlit glow of her telekinetic field eased the room's panoramic windows shut and drew the curtains to a light-engulfing close. The diarch in disguise let her magic further flare; the great plume of power breaking apart the latticework of magic that hid and compressed her true form.

Celestia breathed easier as her native colors washed over her once more, illusion ripping free in a dazzling light show. The spectral wind began to brush her mane once more as the binding mana ripped free, her horn fading back into view from the energies. And yet, at the same time, as free as she felt there was a strange emptiness that came with her true form. The alicorn of the sun put her feelings aside as she strode towards her room, glad that she had an hour or two before court.

"Scootaloo? Scooty-Scootaloo?" The white furred diarch glanced about, hoping her daughter hadn't run off to do something rash-at least not yet. Thinking further, she found herself surprised that Scootaloo hadn't been glaring at her from the reading nook in the back from under a pile of yarn. "Scoota- oh. Oh my."

Her golden aura still gripped the handles of her personal room's doors; her form paused in surprise at the sight within. Luna was posed awkwardly, stiff as a statue as Scootaloo and Shining Armor worked to try and make her look asleep. Celestia realized her mouth was hanging open in surprise at the sight, and snapped it shut with an audible clop.

"Uh, this is exactly what it looks like?" Scootaloo tugged at Luna's hoof in yet another attempt to free the spectral mane clutched in a deathgrip before her face.

Shining shot the little filly a desperate look as he kept trying to repose the lunar alicorn. His mind frantically thought thoughts of his marefriend Cadance as he pushed Luna's rump down onto the cushion.

"You mean it really is you two trying to pose Luna after she shocked herself to death with the sight of her adult mane? Oh, good. I'd have hated to have to hand out banishment decrees for the brother of my faithful student." Celestia smiled cannily as she bounded over to Luna, who's eyes faintly quivered in shock still.

"Please don't- wait. 'Adult mane'?" Shining found that his mind had blanked out at the implications.

Scootaloo joined the older unicorn in boggling; even as Luna herself let her eyes widen ever so slightly in confusion and embarrassment. The two attempting to pose her innocently found themselves brushed away by Celestia, as she caressed the elegant new form of the dark alicorn's mane. A gentle nuzzling graced the back of her head between her ears as Celestia took advantage of the moment. "Oh, yes. You see, when a young alicorn either performs a terrifyingly powerful feat of magic or a very special act with their special somepony-"

"Lalalala! Not listening! Ewewewew!" Scootaloo grabbed a great fold of the covers from the day alicorn's bed, wrapping it around her head in a vain attempt to blot out the suggestions from her mother.

Shining instead scooted backwards across the center of the room, ignoring the static building up from his shuffling hooves as he did. "I-I didn't do it!"

"Oh, of course not." Celestia patted both of them atop the head with her magic. And then wrapped them in the glow of a teleportation field, depositing them beyond the boundaries of her chambers. Small whimpers escaped Luna as her elder counterpart turned back to her; drawers opening all around them to give the solar diarch access to their contents for her devious makeover. "Oh, I've been waiting more than a thousand years for this day, Luna. I'm thinking lace..."

* * *

The early dawn light streaming through the eastern windows cast deep melancholy shadows across her study; the grey and lonely light brought no warmth to Celestia's soul. The elder diarch of the land sipped her early morning tea as the sun rose over the mountains that Canterlot straddled. She couldn't remember the last time she had a chance to just go out and explore them; to wander the ever winding roads and see what her hooves had wrought from the barren earth that had once been the natural state of her lands.

What a sad, lonely life she'd created for herself. Separated from her subjects, almost separated from her daughter by her workload; even apart from the lands she called home. She took a soft slurp, inhaling the nose-prickling scents of her tea as she did. Just once, one time, she so desperately wished she could do something even as trivial as flying The Ribbons from their Canterlot headwaters to the sea. For even a chance to ignore her subject's fears and just be herself; that wasn't too much to ask, was it?

She sat her tea down on her bedstand, beside the warped helm of Nightmare Moon. She didn't know why she had kept it or what to do with it; but it had only served to deepen her melancholy. The ornate clocks sounded the hour, reminding her of the time and the appointment she had.

A warm breeze tickled her haunches, its passing the slightest sign of her scrying spell being called forth to hunt down her teacher. Rising, Celestia strode to her balcony to look over the heartlands of her nation; the gentle breeze gaining strength to become a rippling wind passing over the lip of Canterlot into the valley below. Every quiet glen, every nook and home felt their sovereign's gaze in that wind for a moment, settling at last in a gyre of agitated air that circled about the forest-side cottage that Fluttershy called home.

Small tendrils of that essence-infused wind found the nooks and crannies of that small and rustic cabin, whistling in with a slight rattle of loose boards. She could feel the pegasus within, feel the nervous mare well enough to grasp, to tug her. Arcane energies reached out to that small cabin, swirled about Fluttershy for a moment as the bridge was made. Golden light spun forth from what appeared to be nothingness in Celestia's room, taking the shape of a cowering pegasus for a moment as the energy reached its crescendo.

Her relatively barren room shook slightly with the release of energy from the dissipating spell; Fluttershy shivering at the epicenter of the swirling wind. The solar alicorn slowly stepped across the soft carpet and tile floor, coming up beside the daisy yellow pegasus to comfort her. Softly, she stroked down Fluttershy's spine with the most comforting touch she could muster. It took a minute, but the pegasus's shivers eased to a comfortable halt as she at last looked up at the royal presence she found herself in.

"Oh, Princess Celestia! I-I... Oh, why do I make such a flutterbrain of myself?" Fluttershy prostrated herself on the floor, avoiding looking Celestia in the eyes as she did.

"Fluttershy, you are not the one who must bow. I owe you more than I could ever tell or repay. Please, rise." Celestia looked to her as she spoke, curling a hoof under Fluttershy's chin to get the pegasus to look her in the eyes.

"Um, okay." Fluttershy reluctantly stood, legs quivering slightly from Celestia's presence as she did. She almost buckled back to the floor in surprise as the solar alicorn lifted the weighted saddlebags from her back and brought them to the bedroom table.

"My little pony, I brought you here because I need your help. You've proven you can be trusted, and more importantly, you know how to knit." Celestia held up the set of knitting needles and a ball of yarn to her guest, hoping for actual help. "Didn't Sunbeam tell you who you were supposed to be teaching?"

"Oh, yes. I just never realized that- that-"

"It really would be me?" Celestia groaned inwardly, pondering how to convince 'shy to teach her without the timid pegasus falling over herself all day. "Would changing myself to be less worrisome to you help?"

"Maybe. If you really feel that is necessary"

The solar alicorn resisted the urge to facehoof, if only just barely as her foreleg twitched against the floor. Gathering herself once more, she cast the familiar illusion once more and shrank herself into mortal form. "Like this?"

Fluttershy nodded numbly, as she realized she could have been looking at the princess at any point over the few years she had known her friend Sunbeam. She reached into her saddlebags in an effort to keep from making even more of a foal of herself, handing the disguised princess a partially completed piece with a shaking hoof. The question sat on the tip of her tongue, and she decided to finally get it out of her head. "Um, how long have-"

"What? Oh. Ever since I hired her. We switch out on a regular basis. I just want to not have everypony bow to me all the time, to be a normal pony. And she rather enjoys my privileges. Now then, how do we start?" Celestia held out the partially complete work to Fluttershy in her currently orange-coated hooves.

The shying pegasus quickly nodded, and held up a pair of knitting needles for her disguised companion. "I need to show you the basic knitting stitch before we can get into more advanced techniques. If that's alright."

Celestia nodded, dutifully doing her best to mimic her companion's movements. Yarn twisted and wrapped around wooden needle as the disguised alicorn fumbled through the movements shown to her. Smiles turned to frowns and then to scowls as the yarn wrapped over and over around the needles. The overwhelmed mare of the sun whimpered as she saw the mess she had made, turning to Fluttershy for help.

"What? Oh. Oh my, I've never seen somepony stitch one wale through another before." Fluttershy crouched over as she spoke, looking through the tangled mess of yarn. "Could you tug on this thread here, please? It should free up enough to fix this. Ohhhh."

"I'm not sure what went wrong..." Celestia reached into the mess as she was shown by Fluttershy, working her needles as she did. To her frustration, she watched as her inexperienced fumbles drew a knot shut instead of freeing up yarn and trapped her hoof in a tight loop of material. "This isn't right at all."

Fluttershy grimaced as her expert hooves reached in with a pair of knitting needles of her own, expediently plucking at the threads in a way that Celestia could only dream of. A deft tug freed Celestia's hoof once more as the timid pegasus' tongue began to poke ever so slightly out the corner of her mouth from her concentration. "Oh, I've never seen anypony cast onto five wales at once."

"I would imagine Pinkie would say that I've done a fairly good job of harpooning this lesson, then." Celestia reached in once more, pinning a section of yarn for her teacher to work with. To her annoyance, the first string that pulled free wrapped around her leg multiple times over in its mad dash to escape. She could only imagine what horrors were to come.


End file.
